You can call me flower if you want to. I don’t mind.
So, this weekend, we planned a free-dom extravaganza. We got on the A train, planning to go to the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge and then out to Far Rockaway for some lovely holiday beach going. Running on a holiday schedule made the whole thing take longer than usual. So much longer in fact that leaving at 12:50, we didn’t arrive at the Broad Channel stop until about 2:30. Insane, I know. After we got out at Broad Channel, we walked 1/2 mile to the entrance of the wildlife refuge, signed a card saying we promised not to destroy the place, and then made our way onto the hiking path.
All I can say is that it was well worth it. (more…)
It’s taken as sacrosanct around the Datehole offices that dinner and drinks is the lamest thing one can do on a date. But there are ways to turn “dinner and drinks” into “Dinner. And Drinks!” As always, it’s all in the details, and in this case the details are all in Red Hook.
We promise the trip is worth it. In fact, the trip is part of it. (more…)
Oh summer outdoor movie gods, why have ye forsaken us? I mean, is this punishment for allowing
Fantastic Four 2 Fantastic 8 to be made? Because of Rush Hour 3? Lohan? I mean, we gave Scorsese an Oscar this year. WTF?!
Brooklyn Bridge Fulton Ferry Park, as we have repeatedly stated, is our favorite NY park. It’s got grass, waterfront, and views of downtown NY and the Brooklyn Bridge. It is postcardian. And on Thursday nights in the summer one of our favorite activities, and a great date, is the park’s outdoor film series Movies with a View. Last year saw an excellent lineup including Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, The Warriors, and Raiders of the fucking Lost Ark. Yes and yes.
This year, not so much. But there are a couple diamonds in the otherwise very-gay-seeming rough… (more…)
If you’re not reading the awesomeness that is xkcd then we have no time for you. Best online cartoons going.
Or Friendster. Or MySpace. Or…
It’s that time of
month year when things slow to a crawl, tribal arm tattoo conferences meet at the beach to discuss new breakthroughs in roofie technology and the rest of New York restocks on Valtrex for the Fall. We here at Datehole will also be experinecing lighter posting.
We expect to be back at full flow in September.
Does anyone use Friendster anymore? We do, though not for dating. Anyway, going through our profile today we noticed that the Friendster kids have trademarked an actual state of mind.
No fucking shit it’s complicated.
Quick Tips are simple things that you can do to increase your chance of a successful date. Fuck these up at your own peril. . .
Some people are just better looking. It’s a fact. Like the sky is blue and water is wet and quarterbacks are white. Many better looking people recognize this and use it to their full advantage knowing that not better looking people like to stare at pretty things.
But if you do happen to be the beneficiary of a well-gened father who managed to be irresponsible enough to place his uncovered penis in a well-gened mother who likewise managed to not wake up from her drunk and stop him, then there are a few ground rules while on first dates. You see, women KNOW already that you’re pretty. Reinforce that with some (seeming) humility and you can make panties fly across the room like Darth Vader does blasters:
Under no circumstances should you compare yourself to a celebrity. Even if she says it, just smile humbly (which means look down) and say, “I don’t see it.” Do not say, “Yeah, everyone says that.” Do not say: “Yeah, everyone says that. I also get Bratteorgelandonny Pidamocloonoomepp. But I don’t see it.”
Never, ever, never mention that you “modeled.” Worse, that you’ve been TOLD you could model.
Note: Pretty women are highly guilty of this as well. If you find yourself on a date with such a peacock, simply agree with her. Throwing gasoline on the flames will backfire on you.
After the jump, what we look like. All. The. Time. (more…)
Last Saturday night I went to the The West Side Pistol Range. Can you imagine that “holy shit this sounds fucking so awesome I can’t fucking believe it?!” moment you have when you get to go on a date where you’re actually shooting pistols and fucking AT THE SAME TIME?! Well, that’s not what happened to me and I never had that fantasy either. But it sounded sufficiently cocksure to pass the editorial litmus test we have here.
More on the Pistol Range Date EXTRAVAGANZA, after the jump! (more…)
The relationship advice Q&A columnist is a staple of publishing. Shit, Slate has one. And the “Ask a [Insert Unexpected Advice-Giver Here]” shtick is a worn out yet still effective gag, kind of like the reverse cowgirl and we never complain about that. So….
This week: Ask a Tang Dynasty Concubine
My wife and I are trying to conceive. We have been at it now for about four months without any luck. We have tried rhythm method and pills and everything. Can you offer any advice?
Almost a Father
I sympathize you plight believe me. But according to first wife I no good at have baby either. My husband with me rock bed all night long and still nothing happen so he stop. You better luck if you ask second wife. She like little baby boy factory.
Dear Concubine, (more…)