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Quick Tips

Quick Tips: Don’t Be Pretty

08.22.07 | Posted by Hedgehog

Quick Tips are simple things that you can do to increase your chance of a successful date. Fuck these up at your own peril. . .

Some people are just better looking. It’s a fact. Like the sky is blue and water is wet and quarterbacks are white. Many better looking people recognize this and use it to their full advantage knowing that not better looking people like to stare at pretty things.

But if you do happen to be the beneficiary of a well-gened father who managed to be irresponsible enough to place his uncovered penis in a well-gened mother who likewise managed to not wake up from her drunk and stop him, then there are a few ground rules while on first dates. You see, women KNOW already that you’re pretty. Reinforce that with some (seeming) humility and you can make panties fly across the room like Darth Vader does blasters:

Under no circumstances should you compare yourself to a celebrity. Even if she says it, just smile humbly (which means look down) and say, “I don’t see it.” Do not say, “Yeah, everyone says that.” Do not say: “Yeah, everyone says that. I also get Bratteorgelandonny Pidamocloonoomepp. But I don’t see it.”

Never, ever, never mention that you “modeled.” Worse, that you’ve been TOLD you could model.

Note: Pretty women are highly guilty of this as well. If you find yourself on a date with such a peacock, simply agree with her. Throwing gasoline on the flames will backfire on you.

After the jump, what we look like. All. The. Time.

burt-reynolds-cosmo.JPG
No shit; we lay around our apartment like this watching Law & Order reruns.

See all Quick Tips.

08.22.07 | Comment | Posted by Hedgehog

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