Julia Allison Drinking Game

Best played using Julia’s blog, Gawker and her (yet unnamed) Time Out New York column and Julia’s favorite drink: Long Island Ice Tea.

• Julia references how young and naive she used to be – take a sip
• Julia references an ex. – take a sip
• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about her looks to make herself seem more like a normal person. - take a drink
• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about her “qualifications.” – Take a drink
• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about her not deserving the life she leads. – Take a sip.
• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about how little sex she has. – Take a sip.
• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about her weight. – Take a sip.
• Julia makes an uncalculated and genuine self-effacing statement about herself. – Finish the cup.
• Julia mentions actually having sex. – Finish the glass.

• Julia makes a self-effacing statement about a TV appearance of hers. – Take a drink.
• Julia mentions Georgetown. – Take a drink.
• Julia mentions Harold Ford Jr. – Finish the bottle.
• Julia uses the term “writer” in connection with what she does. – Take a gulp.
• Gawker mentions Julia Allison. – Take a sip.
• The Gawker mention is in a post by Choire. – Finish the glass.
• The Gawker mention is in a post by “Balk’s Dick.” – Finish the bottle.
• Julia blog-fucks another dating columnist. – Take a sip.
• That columnist isn’t Alyssa Shelasky. – Finish the glass.
• Julia mentions taking public transportation. – Take a sip.
• Julia mentions going to an outer borough. – Take a drink.
• Julia mentions going to an outer borough and follows the mention with a parentheses-enclosed exclamation-marked aside (!!!). – Take a drink.
• Julia goes to Staten Island and doesn’t make a Carrie-Bradshaw-level joke about it. – Finish the glass
• Julia mentions Datehole. – Take a drink. Post a comment on Datehole to let us know.
• Julia uses a pun. – Take a sip.
• Julia uses a pun and then self-referentially acknowledges the badness of said pun. – Take a drink.
• Julia appears on TV as an expert on a subject other than celebrities or dating. – Take a gulp.
• Julia talks about terrorism. – Finish the glass before commenting on Gawker’s post about it.
• Julia becomes a Gawker editor. – Finish the bottle. Violently masturbate but don’t let yourself come.
• Julia uses a geographic US stereotype (L.A., Midwest, Brooklyn, Jersey, etc.) – Take a drink.
• The stereotype comment works in that Julia is from the Midwest and thus kind/polite/naïve/not-New-Yorky. – Finish the glass
• Julia posts a screen-grab of herself on TV. – Drink of water.
• Julia writes about secret lesbian dreams involving Ana Marie Cox. – Finish the bottle.
• Julia is photographed in a slutty costume (debutante dresses count). – Take a drink.
• Julia gets a book deal. – Try NOT to finish the bottle.
• Julia makes sarcastic, meta comment about the lack of importance of her line of work vis-à-vis “real” issues going on in the world. – Finish the glass while watching CNN.
• Julia goes abroad. - Take a sip
• Julia goes abroad and it’s not an island. – Take a drink
• Julia goes abroad to an island and is cryptic about why but subtly implies that she’s not paying for it. – Take a drink
• Julia mentions her parents. – Take a sip.
• Julia uses an exclamation point. – Drink of water.
• Julia mentions her parents in a story about how they make fun of her. – Take a gulp.
• Julia appears on Red Eye. – Take a sip.
• Julia appears on a TV show you’re actually watching. – Finish the glass.
• The show you’re watching is on PBS. – Finish the bottle.
• Julia posts picture of herself not in profile. – Finish the glass
• Krucoff produces photographic evidence of having slept with Julia. – Finish the bottle; go outside and get a cab to LES; buy whatever heroin is available and inject it straight into neck vein; get cab home; send email to tips@gawker.com; try to jerk off before passing out.

Maybe it’s her selection of targets that keeps Julia from having a boyfriend…?