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Commentary, Film, Gawker Link Pandering, Contest

Knocked Up Contest: We’re Not Even Kidding Anymore

06.01.07 | Posted by Hedgehog

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Hey it’s national Knocked Up day. We recommend that all of you go out and see the movie with a date, get irrationally interested in having a child and go immediately to the nearest bedroom, backseat or LES bathroom and have unprotected sex.

Remember, don’t pull out.

Intentional or not we love that Knocked Up’s marketing team has bought space across a heaping helping of blogs, immunizing it from truly harsh criticism. It has owned Gawker for the last week or so. And while we appreciate Jezebel’s efforts at even wading into the roe* as it were, it struck us as half-hearted coming from a site whose manifesto states: “…a blog for women that will attempt to take all the essentially meaningless but sweet stuff directed our way and give it a little more meaning…”

But the Knocked Up blow back is coming, we can taste it. In Slate yesterday Dana Stevens hit upon just how much contempt this film has for women:

“On their second date, Alison tells Ben she’s eight weeks pregnant, and, this being a mainstream movie in which the word abortion literally cannot be uttered—when Ben’s pal Jonah briefly invokes the procedure, he says it “rhymes with ’shmashmortion’ “—she needs to know whether Ben’s onboard for the whole fatherhood thing.

Allow me to briefly divagate here on the nonexistence of abortion as an option in Knocked Up. This omission smells of the focus group, and it’s a disappointment in a movie that otherwise prides itself on its unsentimental honesty about the realities of unplanned parenthood.”

Apatow has done an exceptional job tip-toeing around the issue. In a recent Collider.com interview this is how he addressed the topic:

“And the first decision you make is, ‘Am I going to keep the baby?’ And part of what is interesting to me is that it’s two people trying to do the right thing and keep the baby.”

Trying to do the right thing indeed. Sadly, we suspect that Apatow sees the whole abortion debate as an unfortunate roadblock to his comedy; comparing how he talks about the idea of abortion and how he talks about the graphic childbirth scene, it’s quite obvious:

“If I don’t show it I just look like an episode of ‘Friends’ and I am trying to make you feel the pain of that that experience, because it is the most intense moment in people’s lives and I had to do something that hadn’t been done before.”

Because while discussing abortion has been done, watching a woman’s vagina stretch out like a regular condom on John Holmes’ dick is grounbreaking, and funny. What’s funnier than a woman screaming in pain at a man while she gives birth? Nothing, that’s what.

Also, ladies, just remember that by championing the male character from Knocked Up you are sending the message that doing the absolute minimum, at all times, is enough to be considered responsible. We will act accordingly, trust us.

To keep the hope alive we’re extending the closing date on our Knocked Up Contest .

* roe: zoological term for mass of mature fish sperm. Ha ha ha. Get it? Wading into the roe? Fuck we are clever. We deserve our own HBO showcase.

06.01.07 | Comment | Posted by Hedgehog

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