Breaking: Gawker Gets Knocked Up: Denton fires Lockhart for not having online dating ad tie-in to Knocked Up Campaign

It’s turning into an all-Knocked Up all-Gawker-Knocked Up weekend here at Datehole.

On the Gawker is-it-or-isn’t-it it-doesn’t-matter it-did-the-job advertorial, commentor Astro-nom asks:

“I have an overwhelming urge to go on a blind date to see Knocked Up, get drunk on Reyka vodka, and have irresponsible sex while listening to Maroon 5…But what internet dating site to use, Gawker? I need a little more guidance here.”

Astro, we’ve got your guidance right here. If there’s one thing datehole knows, it’s online dating sites. (In fact we’re watching six Adult Friend Finder cam feeds as we write this.)

Judging from your comment history you are a women. We weren’t sure because you mentioned Callum Best (so we thought you were gay) then Michelle Rodriguez (gay, but a woman) and then sealed the deal as straight with this, admitted, gem: “My uterus just threw up a little in my undies.” Ours too Sunshine, ours too.

Anyway, being a straight woman makes your choice of online dating sites pretty easy. The real question is, who do you want to have this irresponsible sex with? Obviously, Adult Friend Finder would get you the fastest results; but did you know they actually ask a lot about VD? Fuck and no thank you. You want to have that cute little pregnancy scare that’s going to be all the rage this summer, not a trip to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis which has never been cool, even after Philadelphia.

(Aside: Why is it the Brit couples can never stay in the cam frame? Damn it’s frustrating.)

Anyway, if you want to find a nerd we highly suggest eHarmony. For one, they just got sued for bigotry against homosexuals. That means there will be fewer for you to worry about. Second, they have a lot of religious types there which means they probably eschew contraception on principle and won’t suggest it. And if the commercials are anything to go by, those guys are Apatow-approved dorky.

Then again gk2gk’s dating service doesn’t even allow pictures.

Ultimately we’ll have to suggest Darwin Dating. Because if you’re going to accidentally end up with a bun in the oven it might as well be the tastiest, golden-brown, buttery bun right? Rogan’s character is cute and all but do you know what that much THC does to sperm? It means this film is bascially science fiction.

Now go enter our Knocked Up Contest.

(It’s been brought to our attenton that gk2gk does allow pictures now. While it doesn’t change the final recommendation, we do apologize for the error.)