C-Nova’s 122™ is a collection of creative things you can do to impress a woman you are dating. The 122 honors the 122 women Giacomo Casanova mentions having slept with in his book “Story of My Life.”
This week, #23: Personalized Breakfast Cereal.
There is only one type of person that doesn’t like cereal, born-again Christians. This list used to include communists, but they’re cool now. (In fact, those post pinkos make some pretty bad-ass cereals now.)
Our connection with cereal is latent, formed from an age before self-consciousness when we could take solace in Captain Crunch’s smiling face when our parents were too clueless to realize were sitting in our own feces. So no matter how mature we get, there’s always something charming about a box of cereal. And are going to tell me that if she stays the night and gets personalized cereal in the morning she’s not going to be tickled pink (especially since you can’t make eggs for shit no matter what you tell yourself)?
The easy way to make a personalized cereal box is to just go to Mr.Breakfast.com and use their template. The advantages of this are numerous: You can do it in an hour at work; the directions are all there and pretty idiot-proof;
The disadvantages should be stated: The Mr. Breakfast box is, by no real fault of theirs, lacking any whimsical charm.
Tip: Use heavy paper to give the box a little durability.
Tip: It’s open to debate about whether to personalize the cereal for her (i.e. her image) or serve her cereal personalized for yourself (i.e. your ugly mug). We go with the latter only because it seems more absurd and thus funnier and thus less stalker-y.
The other method is to get a box of cereal at the store and just paste over the relevant bits, including the name and the face.
Tip: Use a brand that has an easily replaceable character’s face and/or easily replaceable name. (e.g., Froot Loops are cool but the toucan?) We prefer Life because it usually has a kid’s face PLUS you can easily replace the copy (the Life font is close to ITC Eras Ultra.)
This is the unspoken version where you just draw shit on a random cardboard box and put cereal in it. This is fine if you suck.
Prep Time: 1 – 3 Hours.
Level of difficulty (1-10): 3
Cost: less than $10
Yeah yeah, get off our back. We did this in 10 minutes. In MS Paint.
Finish: To really go over the top find out beforehand what her favorite cereal is and fill the box with that.
Delivery: This really does work best when presented the morning after she stays over. When given as a gift out of context, well, you’re on your own.
Tip: This idea can also be used with Lucky Charms as a St. Patrick’s Day gift. Just paste your picture over that crazy ass leprechaun’s on the box and - BAM! – magically delicious and charming.
As always, do not under any circumstances use any of C-Nova’s 122™ with a woman you just started dating. She will (understandably) think you are insane and she will (understandably) run away. We recommend having dated somebody exclusively for at least three months before attempting any of these. And even then use The 122™ no more than once every six weeks.