Did you know that you could be a blogger for Nerve Online Personals? Well you can.
You will need, according to them:
1. a cover letter telling us about yourself and your background
2. a recent photo
3. your Nerve Personals member name
3.[sic] a Microsoft Word document with at least two sample blog posts about your Nerve Personals dates and experiences (a total of 300-600 words).
First, re: requirement number 3 (the first #3): Totally. Fucking. Inspired. What genius thought up this marketing shtick? Just think of all the poor bastards out there who blog (Technorati now claims to track over 70 million) and think that this is their opportunity to be heard. All they need to do is sign up for Nerve personals. We drink this beer to you unknown marketing man; bravo!. You are a fucking god among men.
As for #2-#3 (#4): Below Datehole presents you with two blog posts (300 words, approx.) about dates you’ve been on for your application. You need only add a detail or two, sign and send.
DATE 1. When I first read her handle, [instert your city]gal2007, I wasn’t so sure that she would be my type. I usually go for somebody a little more creative. But she was also 5-starred on my personality match so I thought I’d check her out. Plus, I’m a sucker for red hair; but what guy isn’t, know what I mean?
Turns out we did have a lot in common. I’ve found that Nerve’s personality matcher does tend to be right more often than not. So, deciding to just do after work drinks first, we met up at this small tapas bar that’s romantic enough for a date, but not so cheesy as to look like I was a tasteless playboy.
The place was a great pick. We got a quiet table. I think the waitress seemed to know we were on a date and brought only me the bill, which I was happy to pay.
Toward the end of the date she had loosened up and was laughing more at my jokes, which was a relief. And she even touched me on my arm once while laughing, which I know is a sure sign that a woman is interested. It turned out that we were both [parked in the same place/walking to the same subway stop] and so I was able to walk with her without seeming like a stalker. We had a very nice kiss (on the lips even!) and agreed to do something more interesting next time. I went straight home and checked out Datehole for good ideas.
DATE 2. I was excited when I noticed she checked “play.” She was 35 and just out of a long relationship. I think she said it was five years; but we got so wasted that I can’t even remember her handle. One thing I wish I could remember better is what she looked like blowing me… for my mental library. Anyway, I was glad to see the condom on the floor in the morning. I tend to forget that sometimes.
Send your applications to blog@nerve.com.
Datehole would like to take this opportunity, before even being asked (or applying), to pledge to all 35 of you regular readers that we will not sell out to Nerve and its increasingly hegemony over the business of how our sex lives are conducted. Our Blog, Ourselves.
I hate that when you can’t remmeber what she looked like going down…