So Glamour magazine online is running a contest where you get to vote on who gets to be their new male dating blogger columnist.*
Anyway, as we’ll never read any of these columns, the winner doesn’t matter to us. We only know one of these people (ex-Gawker intern Neel) and we weren’t going to support him because we weren’t sure how worthwhile a 24-year-old’s dating advice could be — Roofies dude! Roofies! Baring that, tell her she looks like an actress! Use Exclamation marks a lot!!! to show how excited!!! you are!!! about her!!!; then we realized that Glamour isn’t just for New York which means Neel is actually the perfect age and the other two (34 and 35) are probably better aged to be writing Redbook’s dating column. Or Divorce Magazine’s (which actually exists BTW: “Help for generation ‘ex’”).
Anyway, we could do a whole comedy bit on this but the guys’ own profiles do a far better job than we ever could so go over there and read it.
A couple notes for the contestants:
Adam: In your entry about getting drunk in LA while ready to do an interview with Jessica Biel you mention title GQ. Good CNast integration. But you also mention Esquire. You’re doomed making rookie mistakes like that.
Michael: Re: Most chivalrous thing [you’ve] ever done: “I threw a prom in my apartment for a girl I was dating, after finding out she’d never had a good prom date back in high school.” We are totally stealing this idea. Good work.
But re: Actress [you’d] sleep with/actress [you’d] marry: “I’d sleep with Jessica Biel and then propose to her while we spooned.” Ooooooooh, it is SO on! Adam is coming for your ass (as soon as he sobers up).
Note to both of you jackasses: Blog-drooling over one of the finest, most sculpted women’s bodies on earth is not something women want to hear. (You’re writing for women (and a few gay men) remember?) They can already get that from most of the men they know so why pay the $5 to read your Jack-Handyisms?
And… Neel: Actually, we kind of like you. There’s nothing terribly offensive or lame here. And, again, does anyone want relationship advice from guys pushing ca-now-run-for-President age? Mom was right about those guys not having their shit together. Trust us on this last one if on nothing else.
* Fuck me. This is for an actual columnist position?! Gawker internships just became seriously useful. Gawker internships 1 / Vice internships 0.
